the youth of today

they asked me how i handle

inner city youth, AS IF

this is a study group instead of

full, complete human beings

with individual souls and uniquenesses.

i should ask them HOW THEY

handle stupid, ignorant suburban

white men who are so stubborn they

will not change and continue to

profit off the false realities

and ideologies that these

supposed "inner city, underprivileged"

youth are the root problems.

NO, I say, I'm sorry,

that is incorrect.

What about the over-privileged

adult power junkies that write

into laws and profit from the

businesses that keep these

incredible, special, beautiful

young human beings

in conditions that minimize

their potentials and cage

their sensibilities.

fearfulness

If I fell in love with fear,

where would the world take me?

Into the deep, dark holes,

battlefields, ditches,

restless and searching,

Would I leave the house alone,

without a weapon?

Would I shed my skin and

put on colors to hide from the enemy?

But, that enemy is within me,

the fear that builds and grows

and manifests within my

heart anxiety, anger, tempermentalness

it shows, maybe not to

everyone, but to my own soul

it can not hide.

I know this pulses through my veins

even though I claim blindness,

deafness, ignorance and pride

When will the rainbows find my heart,

where is the dove to land?

Will there ever be white flags?

Will I ever find happiness again?

Control my heart, control my soul

March in line, follow these commands

But wait, that's wrong,

or is right-do right and wrong

exist?

Do I battle with you or with

myself or each person that I meet?

Where has my faithfulness fallen?

Where has my cheer gone lost?

Within my body I am

shrinking and a monster is

filling in the spaces I am leaving.

this monster looks the same as me,

in fact some people like her even more,

but they don't know the inner truth, the fights, the screams,

the horns

the way this monster conquered me,

the ways she won the wars

And now I'm living in her skin

with fear living next door

feminist poetry

feminist poetry

the man, the god, & the tree

the action that damned her

and exalted he

feminist poetry

where has my womb gone

has it fallen and fallen

dropped, lost, on the ground

it no longer matters

my uterus neither

he tripped it, i miss it

no longer able to swallow

this bitterness

burning, fire, fire

this dwelling, never telling

how or why

did this happen

(continue to be?)

i never learned to love myself

the little girl now woman

(half-eaten) was blinded

unable to see

the time it has past

lost, alone, drifting

on knees

Honor the Earth

If our skyscrapers crumbled, the earth could continue to survive.

But, if the forests and fields disappeared and all we had left was concrete and buildings, we would die.

And then, some day, long from now, the earth would rebuild itself without us.

Speak

When we share our joy, it multiplies.

When we share our suffering, it lessens.

Sharing is essential for living.

poem for p

the had both made mistakes

but when they got back together

they were ready for loving

and love each other they did

from that day forward.

i grew up in the home of their love

and for that i am eternally grateful

because i believe

in a world of love.

out of their bodies grew this love

they were both natives

displaced

in a sad, frozen and lost land.

a land that had forgotten the flavors of

heat and love

and so had turned all to ice and stone.

unable to feel, unable to breath,

overwhelmed and lost.

these two spirits longed once again to be free

so they released the past,

decided to stop the fighting

and chose to love.

love poem to love

oh love, where are you?

why do you continue to

wander in the

nowheres while I

continue to sit here

and wonder if

or when or

why there is this

longing inside my

mind (or is it my cells)

to be with you,

to be madly, wildly,

eyes open, heart soaking

in love with you, love?

if you kissed my steps

would i know it?

how do i long so

badly for something,

someone, i don't even

really know exists?

but you do, don't you,

you must,

because i was made

for loving. (this is true)

new manifesto for new living

sexual health is at the root

of the majority of our community sufferings.

we are created by an egg and a sperm,

which traditionally meet through the act of sexual intercourse.

this union can express many emotions, or no emotion,

with the result being the manifestation of the act of creation.

we have created a world fixated on

pleasure, power, physical appearance, and hierarchy

with distinct and rigid gender roles and expectation.

these values continue to destroy ourselves and our communities.

conception that occurs in this environment

perpetuates and increases the presence of these values on the earth.

but, if we stop, and begin to have sex that

is built upon the foundation of

love, exploration, wonderment, respect, appreciation

and understanding of bodies and joy,

we can bring this into greater being in the world.

every moment we are actively participating in the

continuous creation of the world

through our thoughts, actions, words, looks, breaths,

interactions with all creatures and all beings.

these actions of creation are important and deserve great reflection

and still, we are given even greater

responsibility as we contribute to the continuous creation

by bringing a new life-our child-into being and belonging.

if this child came into being

through the meeting of cells

that journeyed toward one another

through an ultimate expression of love

and connection of two beings

two breathing lungs, two pounding hearts

just think what the world could become!

how beautiful is it that we are given the opportunity to be active participants in creation !

and, that the process in which we are able to do so

is through the vulnerable union of two bodies

naked and open and trembling

if we intend to not just survive, but thrive,

we must re-think our ideas and expectations of

bodies, sexuality, love, creation, joy and truth.

why have we devalued the power of women's bodies?

i do not believe that all sex has to be for conception

nor do i believe that children born outside of an ultimate expression of love

are to be faulted for the sufferings we all experience

but, the fact that sex is the process for

re-creation means that sex is a sacred part of continuous creation

and should be treated accordingly.

understanding that sex is sacred teaches us

that all expression of love are sacred and to be respected.

we have to stop forcing people

through acts and expressions of homophobia, hate speech and violence

to engage in untruthful relationships and sexual activity with people

they do not love.

i believe the world is magical and divine.

when asked, "who created you?"

how do you respond?

do you say "god" or "my mother and my father"

or are these the same?

could they be the same if we truly believed

we are all divine expressions/pieces/connection of god/spirit/love

and powerful enough to create a world from mutual love?

my cells, formed by love, are questioning

when the earth began to crumble

and the people fell inside

i looked for you.

did we once swim in the seas?

or have i/we/you always been alone? lost?

lost in our foundness? found in our lostness?

as the dirt and ashes

mixed with salty tears

and clots of blood

my pupils turned to pulses

and my eyes to hearts

when will we learn to soar?

or is the path to sink?

who taught the world to suffer?

my cells, formed by love, are questioning

unable to understand

the wondrous beauty

and the deep, immense pain

love the world, my children

love, love, love

veins and flows

colored pencil in progress

source

we are animals

mountain ram in progress

started 9, January 2010

the raven

9, January 2010

apology

apology

i want to write you a poem
a poem to explain
how my body feels anxious
with the uncertainty of 
our left conversation
i don't know what to say
or how to say it
or how to translate these
anxious pulses to pen

how come saying i'm sorry
is difficult?
how do we learn to apologize 
for causing pain?
how do i tell you and
have you believe
that i would never change you?
that i would never wish for you to be louder
or less of your quiet 
and sensitive self?
how do i communicate to you
that i meant what i wrote
when i told you of my disappointments,
but never with the intention
of creating more anger and hurt?

why is telling the truth so hard?
and why is telling the truth to ourselves even harder?
why is listening to the truth
from others ever-challenging still?

beyond the letter, and the words, 
and the struggles to listen and form 
the feelings and thoughts,
this is my message:
i am sorry, i still see you for you
but sometimes, my loneliness speaks
and there are sides of me,
like there are parts of you,
as there are spaces within all of us,
that are not always filled with brightness.

i am flawed, this i know,
and perhaps it is better that you too 
have now seen this 
but, in my heart there is not hatred,
only disappointment that the world
is as it is
and love does not flow freely,
that time and circumstances
pasts and fears
insecurities and pains
too often take control over our bodies 
and tell our minds the 
possible is impossible.

i've always wanted to see you,
as i long to see the world, 
in its fullest form,
freed from the walls that divide 
and entrap. 

this poem is not meant 
to tell you what you should do
or who you should be
or dwell on my hopes for the earth.
the purpose of this poem is
to apologize to you for anything
that caused pain and anger
and to show you that I, too,
am still learning.

26, December 2009