where would the world take me?
Into the deep, dark holes,
battlefields, ditches,
restless and searching,
Would I leave the house alone,
without a weapon?
Would I shed my skin and
put on colors to hide from the enemy?
But, that enemy is within me,
the fear that builds and grows
and manifests within my
heart anxiety, anger, tempermentalness
it shows, maybe not to
everyone, but to my own soul
it can not hide.
I know this pulses through my veins
even though I claim blindness,
deafness, ignorance and pride
When will the rainbows find my heart,
where is the dove to land?
Will there ever be white flags?
Will I ever find happiness again?
Control my heart, control my soul
March in line, follow these commands
But wait, that's wrong,
or is right-do right and wrong
exist?
Do I battle with you or with
myself or each person that I meet?
Where has my faithfulness fallen?
Where has my cheer gone lost?
Within my body I am
shrinking and a monster is
filling in the spaces I am leaving.
this monster looks the same as me,
in fact some people like her even more,
but they don't know the inner truth, the fights, the screams,
the horns
the way this monster conquered me,
the ways she won the wars
And now I'm living in her skin
with fear living next door
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