sexual energies

some reflections after reading "Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape" edited by Jacyln Friedman and Jessica Valenti

some freeform journal writing:

people's sexual energies would unnerve me, and sometimes still do, because of two main reasons:

1. my own fear of "my" "sexuality"

2. i couldn't always properly read others because of my own sexual trauma, both person and societal, that convoluted/coded these energies, which would in turn produce and cycle back to 1-my own fear of "my" "sexuality"

i am ready to say what i actually think, feel, love, express, cry, pulse, communicate, exist as a message and manifestation of

* i have stopped forcing and am letting flow *

more explanation of these ideas to come soon...