the youth of today

they asked me how i handle

inner city youth, AS IF

this is a study group instead of

full, complete human beings

with individual souls and uniquenesses.

i should ask them HOW THEY

handle stupid, ignorant suburban

white men who are so stubborn they

will not change and continue to

profit off the false realities

and ideologies that these

supposed "inner city, underprivileged"

youth are the root problems.

NO, I say, I'm sorry,

that is incorrect.

What about the over-privileged

adult power junkies that write

into laws and profit from the

businesses that keep these

incredible, special, beautiful

young human beings

in conditions that minimize

their potentials and cage

their sensibilities.

fearfulness

If I fell in love with fear,

where would the world take me?

Into the deep, dark holes,

battlefields, ditches,

restless and searching,

Would I leave the house alone,

without a weapon?

Would I shed my skin and

put on colors to hide from the enemy?

But, that enemy is within me,

the fear that builds and grows

and manifests within my

heart anxiety, anger, tempermentalness

it shows, maybe not to

everyone, but to my own soul

it can not hide.

I know this pulses through my veins

even though I claim blindness,

deafness, ignorance and pride

When will the rainbows find my heart,

where is the dove to land?

Will there ever be white flags?

Will I ever find happiness again?

Control my heart, control my soul

March in line, follow these commands

But wait, that's wrong,

or is right-do right and wrong

exist?

Do I battle with you or with

myself or each person that I meet?

Where has my faithfulness fallen?

Where has my cheer gone lost?

Within my body I am

shrinking and a monster is

filling in the spaces I am leaving.

this monster looks the same as me,

in fact some people like her even more,

but they don't know the inner truth, the fights, the screams,

the horns

the way this monster conquered me,

the ways she won the wars

And now I'm living in her skin

with fear living next door